Behind the Scenes of One Mama's Life

Dear Younger Self

Today, Lynn and Dineen over at Spiritually Unequal Marriage began a series called The Intentional Marriage. While I was unable to view the first part of this series (long story, but no audio and very little data usage), I wanted to take a moment to participate. The challenge this month is to offer advice to our younger selves – before we were married.

Well, I wasn’t so young when I got married; at least not like brides used to be. I waited until I was in my 30’s to tie the knot. I had even known him for many years before we married. However, ironically, my advice to my younger self would be to wait a little longer and get to know him better. Had I done that, though, we probably would never have been married at all. So, what do I mean by this seemingly conflicting advice?

Ok, so maybe we wouldn’t have married… I can look at my younger self and honestly say that I wanted to be married. I was in my 30’s and had no prospects. I had grown out of the typical ways I thought one would meet a husband. I look back and know that I had already overlooked a few red flags. We got married, and even though we had known each other for years, we really hadn’t spent much time together.

Now older and, theoretically, wiser, I would highly recommend courtship instead of dating. I would suggest spending more time together learning about how each person handles conflicts, how he or she relates to family members, and how arguments are handled. These are all important as these situations will surface in every marriage.

Ok, Lynn and Dineen also requested that we post a picture from the wedding – keep in mind that we didn’t have digital cameras so this main be a bit grainy.

6 thoughts on “Dear Younger Self

  1. Oh Heather,

    Absolutely excellent advice and wow, do I relate. I dated long distance too and it’s often difficult to know someone really well that way. However, God is good and working all things to His glory. For you… For me… Amazing.

    I LOVE the photos and would love to use this advice in our book. Okay with you??? Hugging you and thank you for being part of our new adventure. BIG hugs. Lynn

  2. Heather,
    This is great advice – very similar to some of the ideas I’ve had for my post (but I’ve not been as timely as you in posting!)

    Thank you for sharing your advice. And your wedding pictures are beautiful. I love your dress, you look like a fairy tale princess.

    1. Thank you, Angela! I loved that dress too! It was a wedding steeped in history (and a bit of drama). It was a renaissance-themed wedding and we even sent out invitations on scrolls sealed in wax.

  3. Hi Heather, Blessings to you this day….came over from Ang’s blog and also from Lynn and Dineens. I can relate to your story in that I wanted to be married so much that I overlooked some major issues-Christ for the first of many. Love the photo as well.

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